How we discovered trees aren't routers

 So, when you think of Halloween, what comes to mind? Treats, candy, maybe a few adult beverages? How about rushing to the woods to build a shack, outfit it with solar power, and then get internet installed?

I should back up a moment...

So as anybody existing in 2020 or later should know (and if you're coming from an earlier time, I'd love to know how you got ahold of this blog--please send me a letter at Central Intelligence Agency, Office of Public Affairs, Washington D.C. 20505), this year has been something of a clusterfuck.

In fact, calling it a "clusterfuck" is probably too offensive to anybody who likes to fuck in clusters (I'm not hating; not my thing, but you do what makes you happy dude). So "dumpsterfire" is probably more appropriate. 

That sticker now adorns the box I keep my .22 in, because 2020 has two 2s, and my brain is a child.

In preparing for the dumpsterfire that was our election, and the ongoing shenanigans resulting from our country being run by the lowest common denominator, Mrs. Shackleford and I started thinking about what it would take to be able to ditch our city home and run away to the woods for good.

Water? Check.

Shelter? Check.

Food? We have a six month supply, and by the time that runs out we should be up and running with the garden and foraging.

...but what about employment?

See, we're not preppers. We don't think the world is going to end, we think the world is going to continue going largely unchanged except for the continuous downward spiral as unchecked neoliberal capitalism continues to flush us all down the collective toilet.  That means we don't imagine a future where Yellowstone blows up and wipes out the government and everybody's debts and we all just focus on fending off raiders and slavers.  We imagine a future that's just like the present, but shittier and with the government giving even less of a pretense of caring about anybody except the mega rich.

That means jobs. That means remote work. That means internet. 

Turns out the extreme north-easternmost corner of our land is close enough to the nearest power line that a local telecom co-op was willing to put up a fresh pole and run fiber optic to our... trees?

Shit.

Trees can't do anything with fiber optic. 

Join us next week as our intrepid heroes battle to bring a little bit of "grid" to their "off grid" adventure!